Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Liam Saw Jesus at Craker Barrel

  Last Monday night my family got together, like we often do, to celebrate Birthdays.  I have a really large family with 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters and I am the only one who doesn’t have any kids, *Ahhh, the pressure* so we tend to combine Birthday dinners to make it more cost efficient for all of us.  It works.

So Monday night we all went to Cracker Barrel to have us one hell of a shindig and celebrate 3 Birthdays.  We pushed 4 tables together and made one giant square table that our servers were not very happy about.  Well, we weren’t very happy about having to sit at two separate tables, so there.  

After dinner the Birthday peoples got desert and of course the younger peoples got to share.  Here is Liam reaching to steal Briana’s “Bit of Heaven” chocolate cake.

And here is Liam getting his very own piece.

After eating about half his “Bit o’ Heaven,” Liam all of a sudden looked up at me with his Chaplin-Stache of chocolate.  His eyes got big and he reached out his hand and pointed at something behind me.  In this tiny, excited but whispery voice he said, “Oooooo, Jeasssusssss.”

My first thought, of course, was that The Rapture  The end of the world The Zombie Apocalypse had come and I tried to think of the last time I “got right” with The Big Man.  I mean, if a 2 year old is seeing the Son of God after eating a “Bit o Heaven” chocolate cake at Cracker Barrel, shit is about to get real, son.  

I quickly turned around to make sure it wasn’t just some hipster bum who had wandered in, and of course I saw no one where he was pointing.  After all, they don’t allow hipsters in Cracker Barrel, I saw a sign. 

I looked back a Liam and he just smiled and nodded, “Jeassussss.”  

Finally I look at my sister, Sarah and she’s saying to Liam, “No, we’re not going today.  Not today.”
What. The. Fuck is going on?!?!

I look across the table at my other sister Jenny, and she looks about as perplexed as I am and finally she asks, “Is he saying ‘Jesus’??  Sarah looks up and says, “Hahahaha! No!! Why the hell would he be saying Jesus?!?  He’s saying ‘Cheeses!’  He sees the Chuck E Cheese across the street!!” 

Holy shit.  Talk about giving a bitch a heart attack!  What’s even better is that from where we were sitting, you can’t even SEE the words “Chuck E Cheese” or even the big picture of the happy rat head.  Liam could pick it out by the size and color of the building. 

I laughed so hard I cried, and maybe peed a little.
Best. Family. Dinner. EVER!


The Most AWESOME Cousin EEEVAAARRR! said...

Bwahaha!! That is hilarious!

And might I add that Liam is so darn smart for being able to distinguish the Chuck E. Cheese building... and giving you a heart attack at the same time! :)

Shanna said...

Hey I just peed so hard, I laughed a little. You better get right with the big guy!

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...


I'm Susan Szold. said...

Thanks, I needed that. That was hilarious/beautiful and Liam's Chaplin-Stache is the cutest thing ever. What a smart boy.

Once a waiter with heavy acent asked friends of mine having breakfast, "Jews?" Taken aback, one answered, "No, actually, we're Catholic."

Equally confused, the waiter repeated it a few times with inreasing intensity. He was askig her if she wanted JUICE.

CatZilla said...

Thanks y'all!

@Cousin, I know! I was amazed when I saw what he was looking at that he knew what it was!

@Susan, That is hilarious!! I would have thought the same thing!! Haha

BlogMuse said...

Holy.Shit.Balls.Fire.AndeverythingGREAT! Is that Cracker Barrel 'Coke' cake?!?! I pine for that shit and I get it once every 8 years. seriously, ship this fat (pregnant) lady some and I will stalk you for life.

CatZilla said...

@BlogMuse- Dude! Email me your address. Seriously, I won't stalk you and I'll send you cake. For reals, that place is like across the street from my house.

I feel bad for preggers ladies who crave shit they can't have. And if I ever have babies (which I really hope I do) someone had better damn well bring me cheese and tacos. I have decided that is what I will crave. Cheese and tacos.

BlogMuse said...

I am in love with you. I will e-mail you for sure. Also, I was convinced I would crave Jack-In-The-Box tacos. Turns out not so much. They make me wanna vomit a little.

Bacon on the other hand seems to be the key. Hubby just keeps cooked bacon on hand. in a bag. Like I'm a puppy or something. FYI-Don't accidentally in the middle of the night when you are sneaking snacks like a fat kid mix the Bacon up with the Beggin strips. NOT THE SAME. NOT THE SAME!!!

CatZilla said...

That is soo funny. I gave often been tempted to try beggin strips because, let's face it, they look absolutely delicious!! Good to know they don't taste the same as actual bacon.