Last Monday night my family got together, like we often do, to celebrate Birthdays. I have a really large family with 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters and I am the only one who doesn’t have any kids, *Ahhh, the pressure* so we tend to combine Birthday dinners to make it more cost efficient for all of us. It works.
So Monday night we all went to Cracker Barrel to have us one hell of a shindig and celebrate 3 Birthdays. We pushed 4 tables together and made one giant square table that our servers were not very happy about. Well, we weren’t very happy about having to sit at two separate tables, so there.
After dinner the Birthday peoples got desert and of course the younger peoples got to share. Here is Liam reaching to steal Briana’s “Bit of Heaven” chocolate cake.
And here is Liam getting his very own piece.
After eating about half his “Bit o’ Heaven,” Liam all of a sudden looked up at me with his Chaplin-Stache of chocolate. His eyes got big and he reached out his hand and pointed at something behind me. In this tiny, excited but whispery voice he said, “Oooooo, Jeasssusssss.”
My first thought, of course, was that
The Rapture The end of the world The Zombie Apocalypse had come and I tried to think of the last time I “got right” with The Big Man. I mean, if a 2 year old is seeing the Son of God after eating a “Bit o Heaven” chocolate cake at Cracker Barrel, shit is about to get real, son.
I quickly turned around to make sure it wasn’t just some hipster bum who had wandered in, and of course I saw no one where he was pointing. After all, they don’t allow hipsters in Cracker Barrel, I saw a sign.
I looked back a Liam and he just smiled and nodded, “Jeassussss.”
Finally I look at my sister, Sarah and she’s saying to Liam, “No, we’re not going today. Not today.”
What. The. Fuck is going on?!?!
I look across the table at my other sister Jenny, and she looks about as perplexed as I am and finally she asks, “Is he saying ‘Jesus’?? Sarah looks up and says, “Hahahaha! No!! Why the hell would he be saying Jesus?!? He’s saying ‘Cheeses!’ He sees the Chuck E Cheese across the street!!”
Holy shit. Talk about giving a bitch a heart attack! What’s even better is that from where we were sitting, you can’t even SEE the words “Chuck E Cheese” or even the big picture of the happy rat head. Liam could pick it out by the size and color of the building.
I laughed so hard I cried, and maybe peed a little.
Best. Family. Dinner. EVER!