There are many things you learn when you become a mom, some basic things like how often babies like to be fed and how to swaddle them tightly so they wont cry; but then there are some things you learn that surprise you. This post is about those things.
I’ve always been a coupon cutter, but before I was a mom it baffled me why there were so many coupons for batteries. Who is buying all these batteries and what are they using them for?! Why can’t there be more coupons for toilet paper instead?? Now I know…."WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE BATTERIES?!?!?!? I swear I JUST bought some!!! No, not that size, we need Quadruple G sized batteries. Why the hell are batteries so damned expensive?!?! What do you mean the swing is already losing power?! AAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!!"
Before I was a mom, cleaning soggy food out of casserole dishes made me gag and nearly toss my cookies. One of the first things I worried about when I found out I was pregnant was how I was going to handle getting peed, puked and pooped on. Now I know….Sometimes laundry doesn’t get done for awhile, you dig through the pile, find the t-shirt with the least amount of spit-up on it and you carry on with your day. When you get pooped on, you wash your hands, change out of your shirt and make a mental note NOT to pick that one back out of the pile to wear again tomorrow.
I love sleeping; always have. When I was little I would ask to go to bed hours before my bedtime and I would sleep in well past Saturday Morning Cartoons. I worried that being woken up multiple times in the middle of the night wouldn’t fly well with me. I worried that I would get frustrated and angry about not getting my beauty sleep. Now I know…when that little noise wakes you up, it’s not anger you feel, it’s a split second of worry, and then you relax a little when you realize it’s a coo, not a cry. And as soon as you stick your head over the bassinet and see the tiny, toothless, grinning person holding his feet and rocking side to side, there is no other feeling than pure joy. Period.