Friday, January 21, 2011

I got my first product endorsement request!!!

If you don’t read a lot of blogs or don’t blog yourself, you may not know this but companies frequently send “successful” blog writers e-mails requesting them to promote or review their products (Not really sure why they sent me one...)  Now that sounds all fine and dandy until you realize that they want you to do this for free or possibly for a small supply of saltine crackers.  Either way, you pretty much give them free advertising.
Their initial e-mails are computer generated and usually make no sense what so ever.  I was a little disappointed that this e-email wasn’t all that ridiculous, only had a few um, errors?  Wanna see?!?  Of course you do!

Cameron Kane On Behalf Of CSNPromoTeam <>
"" <>
Fri, Jan 21, 2011
Unique Opportunity With CSN Stores

Good Morning!
My name is Cameron and I work on the Promotions Team at CSN Stores. I came across your blog recently and wanted to reach out to you for a potential partnership. You may have seen CSN Stores around the blogosphere as we are currently running promotions with a variety of different sites and thought you might be interested in working with us!
With over 200 unique sites, ranging from cookware to
fitness equipment and more.  We carry just about everything (including the kitchen sink...).
We would love to help you reward your US and Canadian readers with a CSN gift code giveaway. It's a great way to give back to your loyal followers as well as draw in new audiences! Plus your winner gets to pick exactly what they want from our inventory of over 2 million products! And if you think a review would be a better fit for you and your readers, we could certainly discuss that option as well.
Let me know if this sounds like a something you would be interested in and we can discuss the details!
Thanks for your time,

I KNOW!!! Awesome right?!?  I didn’t want to be rude and not respond, so I sent him this:

From: Cat Robinson <>
To: Cameron Kane On Behalf Of CSNPromoTeam <>
Date: Fri, Jan 21, 2011
Subject: Re: Unique Opportunity With CSN Stores

Wow, Cam!!  Who knew you had so much time on your hands that you googled “CatZilla” and made it all the way to page 127 to be able to “come across” my blog!  That’s dedication, Dude! 
I’m sorry to say that I have absolutely no idea what CSN stands for, or what your stores sell, but I can only hope it’s for “Criminal Supplies Nationwide” or maybe “Cannibalistic Satanists Network.”  Either of these would be pretty freekin exciting. 
Wait, cookware and fitness equipment??  What exactly did you read in my blog that makes you think I would want to endorse cookware and fitness equipment??  You really should let me know so that I can remove it because that is pretty much exactly the opposite of the things I would endorse.  I mean, if you were selling hand guns and booze maybe we could have a deal.  Or even if you were selling vats of nacho cheese.  I totally would have promoted your company if you sent me a free vat of nacho cheese.  
And you really didn’t need to rub it in that I only have 7 “loyal followers” as you put it.  That’s sort of below the belt.
Wow Cam, I really thought we had something going for a minute.  Now I realize you don’t even know me.  What a letdown. 
But Cam, if you change your mind and DO want to send me free hand guns, booze or nacho cheese, please let me know. 
CatZilla Herself

As of right now I still haven’t heard back from my new friend Cam, but I really hope that it’s just because he is trying to get permission from his boss to send me guns.   I’ll let you know if I hear anything.  Happy Friday, Bitches!!

EDIT- Sorry the first e-mail is all running everywhere on the page.  I'm retarded and don't know how to fix


Chris Burk said...

Hi Cat,
Long time no talk to. I jusst wanted to say "Bravo", and "Three Thumbs Up" on your blog, and I'm not just sayin that cuz we homeys from back in tha day, for real. I like this particular post so much I had to read more. I think my favorite part is the visual aids incorporated throughout the posts. You are a genius, don't stop writing.

P.S. I can't wait for the review on the Nacho Cheese Vat.

Chris Burk said...

oh one more thing, your letter has a fixed width on it that is why its sticks out to the side. Just F.Y.I.

CatZilla said...

Chris!! Thank you soo much for the badass complements!! I hope I can keep writing for a long, long time. When I get big and famous you will be the first person I call for my web designing. :)

Pablo said...

Tell that condescending mofo that you now have 9 loyal followers. And ask for a PS3 while you're at it.

lovinangels said...

LOL, I got the same one. It freaked me out because, well, no one was following my blog at the time, so I decided that evil chimps from outer space were attempting to steal my identity and my children.

I saw you on the bloggess, and HAD to see if you got the same one I did.

Your response was better.

PS, if you want more followers, do blog hops. Now I have to follow you because this was freaking hilarious.

CatZilla said...

Oh my GOD! I didn't even think of the evil space chimps!! You're right!! Thank god I don't have any children for them to steal. Those bastards!

Thanks for the love!! :)

I'm Susan Szold. said...

I looked you up, young lady, after you found me and I am still laughing over this post and can't wait to read more.

I would like to add you to my illustrious blog roll because my readers will LOVE you.

Brandi said...

Too Funny! You arte still the Bestest Ever!!!!

CatZilla said...

Susan- I would be ultimately honored to be added to your blog roll!! If your readers are are funny as you, it's a win-win! :) Thanks for the love!

Brandi- No, you are B-Word!! And shouldn't you be working? Not reading blogs...don't make me walk over there ;)

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Whenever I get one of those emails I thank God I don't have their job. How much rejection can they stand in one day? When they send me a follow-up asking me if I got the first email, I hate that I have to write back and say "I ignored you and now you made me actually type a response so you don't bother me again." Well, not that exactly, but they shan't be writing me no more!

I would take free nacho cheese.